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Mission Possible: Still Riding the Tamoxifen Coaster

Updated: Apr 12, 2022

If you have been following my resumption journey of tamoxifen, you know I have been very candid. I started this blog in particular, to shed light and normalize the daily realities of trying to maintain as a survivor in survivorship and taking a pill for 10 years. My goal is to make sure other survivors don’t feel alone in the realities of taking the ultimate mood destabilizer and feeling like slamming a “silly hoe” to the concrete, while wanting to hide and bawl up in the closet in the fetal position, all within the first 5 minutes of waking up in the morning, #thetamoxifenrollercoaster. I am willing to be transparent in my daily struggles with Tamoxifen as I try to activate my wellness toolbox to help me navigate the high drops and loops of the Tamoxifen roller coaster. I know no one person will have the same exact experience while on Tamoxifen but my goal is to share the similarities of experience and share some things, I am doing to try to combat the ultimate mood destabilizer.

Okay, so hopefully you are now up to date on my goal with “Tamoxifen Chronicles” …. moving on now to how it is going, one month into resuming Tamoxifen. Since I knew how Tamoxifen made me feel before, I decided that I would not just take it lightly this time around. I would tap into all my resources to ensure I would not suffer in silence while on Tamoxifen.

I did a few things I want to share:

1. I talked with my family (my husband especially) about my concerns with restarting the ultimate mood destabilizer and asked them to be give me grace and space

2. I talked to my therapist AND psychiatrist about what I needed as I restarted the ultimate mood destabilizer

3. I talked to myself and reminded myself to give myself grace and not be so judgmental, especially my inner critic (you know we all have that voice in our head, especially as moms, reminding us that we are not quite good enough, comparing ourselves to other moms and piling on the mom guilt)

4. I sat down and reviewed my wellness toolbox and committed to daily selfcare and not aftercare when everything caught on fire

Maya Angelou said it best “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”.

Accepting the daily realities of breast cancer is a hard pill to swallow and it doesn’t just end after active treatment is done. In survivorship we have to continue to strive to keep up with our health, be it staying up to date with scans or continuing the ultimate mood destabilizer for 10 years. Therefore, we have to double down on using our resources, tapping into our wellness tool box, asking for help, dropping the superwoman cape to be there for ourselves and be the best versions of ourselves.

DISCLAIMER: Although I am a pharmacist I am not YOUR pharmacist. All information contained in this blog is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and does not establish any kind of patient-client relationship. The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare provider before undertaking a new health regimen. Do not start or stop any medications without speaking to your medical or mental health provider.

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